Chapter Text
After the war was over, Naruto's life did a turn so radical he could not believe he was in the same skin most days. When you grow up knowing nothing but hostility and neglect, being pampered and loved by crowds of people he would never be able to get to know individually was more overwhelming than flattering.
The timing was also a matter of bitterness, even though he tried to fight it.
It was easy to love him now. Expected of them. He did the absolute most to get a glimpse of that adoration. He put his life on the line for the sake of the village, when they had never lifted a finger to help little infant Naruto with something as trivial as house bills and home cooking.
He was grateful for the bonds he formed. For the friends he made on his journey. He had the biggest family on earth; he had kids following him around and looking up to him, he had elders shaking his hand and commenting on his father's legacy.
It was a nice feeling most days. But he could not help but wonder if he would ever get that, had he not sacrificed everything.
He shook his head, trying to fight his own thoughts. He fought the urge to hit his own face as a wake up call because Sakura had told him something about normalizing violence against your body is not good.
It was a warm morning, the strees were only beginning to get a little crowded, the birds were singing and the sunrays softly shifting on the branches of trees.
He was out to train by himself, trying to clear his head from the fact he had no upcoming missions for a while and only a bunch of homestudy Kakashi was throwing his way. He knew it was necessary but it was so hard to concentrate on the words, the phrases way too formal and figurative. Naruto was aware that he was not dumb, he was very creative and intelligent and quick-witted. But he was someone who grew up without being properly socialized, not having adults looking out for him until Iruka and not having acess to the basic education you're supposed to get from parents or guardians. So some things came slowly to him, some tasks were harder.
He would get it, though. He always did. He always achieved what he wanted through his sheer power of will. That was his ninja way, after all.
He came at a full stop when he arrived at the training camp by the north end of the village, an usually empty space reserved to him and the rest of team 7.
There was a figure laying down on their back, and Naruto approached slowly not knowing if the person was resting from training or just being lazy on a slow sunday morning.
Once he was close enough for the sun not to blurry his vision, he caught a glimpse of dark blue, long silky hair laying around the grass as if it was a midnight sky portal.
"Hinata?!" He ran the extra mile to stand in front of her figure.
She had her eyes closed and her body was completely relaxed as if she was fast asleep. But by the whiteness of her lips and the dried tears on her cheeks, he could tell there was something wrong immediately.
He crouched down to promp her body up, holding her neck close to his face and using his other hand to encircle her waist.
"Hey, Hinata. Wake up, please." He shook her a little but her body was limp agaisnt his. He knew he was usually burning up with his chakra, his skin always hot, but he was sure she was freezing. He looked over to her arms and her veins were so visible and blue it made him afraid of even touching her.
His hearbeat picked up in a panic. She was breathing, slowly but surely, but she seemed so pale and weak it was as if he was holding a lifeless body. His mind played images of an injured Neji falling to his knees, being taken by his arms and growing cold against him, body losing its soul as it fell on the battlefield.
He took her in his arms, lifting her up, and almost tearing up at how her head fell to his chest as if she was made of cloth.
"Hey. Hey. Hinata. Hold on, okay? Don't you dare die on me. Don't do this to me again, alright?" He kept speaking nonsense to a passed out Hinata while he run to the center of the village, in the direction of the National Hospital direction.
He arrived like a flash, the door hanging open behind him, the wide eyes taking in his presence and the girl in his arms.
He searched for Sakura in the crowd of nurses but couldn't find her.
"Please, someone help her." He pleaded like a child, his grip strong but his fingers trembling.
He failed Neji. He got him killed. He almost lost Hinata once too, over his own weakness and lack of control. He could almost imagine the blood again, see it flowing under rocks, the red consuming all his vision....
"Over here!" A young nurse motioned for him to follow her inside an emergency room, her hands already getting busy once he dropped Hinata gently on the hospital bed.
"Please...I don't...I found her passed out and she's really cold. Her breathing is too weak too. I don't know what happened, she was already...She can't die. She's not sick, right? Was she attacked or poisoned?" He was moving like a tornado while the nurse held Hinata's pulse gently.
"Uzumaki-san." The nurse addressed him without even turning, continuing her ministrations. "There's no way of knowing before I run the tests. I'm glad you were quick to react, but I believe you're in shock. I will ask you to wait outside and I will get another nurse to assist you."
"But...Please, she has to be alright. You don't—"
"Uzumaki-san." She was now on his side, gently pushing him out while another nurse entered the room too while a big box of medical supplies.
He was feeling lightheaded.
That was no way for a ninja like Hinata to go.
But she was not dying. He saw her pass out once or twice when they were younger. It was possibly a health condition he didn't know about.
He didn't know much about her, even though they were friends.
"Thank you for everything. Just wait here for a while, please." He realized he had sat down at the bench in the corredor, the door to the room closing behind the nurse.
He felt a weird sensation on his hands, as if they were pulsating with all the blood inside him. His head was heavy too, he realized.
He couldn't understand his own panic. She didn't seem hurt, there was no visible wounds or blood. There was only her closed eyes and semi-open mouth, any sight of blood circulating through her not present on her milky skin, as cold as snow at the moment he kneeled down by her sleeping self.
The last time he saw her before the present day had been when she came back from her last mission with Ino, and he made a comment about her losing weight in a very characteristic way that earned him a punch from Sakura. There was no malice in his comment, only worry for a friend.
When he thought further back, she had been losing weight for a while. She got shorter missions, the frequency lowering too. Her hair was thiner and less shiny than he remembered. After the war, he had watched Hinata more closely. He always wanted to say something, but he wasn't sure what, the words always died on his throat.
There was so much shame when facing her. There were blurry memories from whatever she had said to him during the Pain fight, there was her interrupted sacrifice and Neji's own, there was the endless kindness and patience she extended to him and others.
He owned her more than life. But, ultimately, he just selfishly needed her to be okay.
He closed his hand into a fist, making a promise to himself, visualizing her own blood from back when she went against Neji in the Chunin Exams.
He would protect Hinata with his life, and make it his life mission until his last breath. Her body would not grow cold as long as his was warm.
He leaned his head on the wall with closed eyes, determined to stay there as long as she did.
